What is so hard??

My husband and I like coffee. We like the actual taste of it, not the taste of the sugar or whatever you put in it. Coffee and cream...hot or iced. That's what we like. This doesn't seem like it would be that hard to get, but the good folks who work at McDonald's can't seem to get that...and I don't get that they don't get it.

McDonald's came out with iced coffee a year or two ago, which comes in regular (sweet), vanilla or caramel. Greg and I would go, whether inside or the drive through and order thusly: "Two large iced coffees, no flavor, no sweetener, no syrup. Just coffee and cream."

Without fail, there would be a pause, and the order taker would read it back to us in an incredulous tone of voice. "You don't want sweetener?"

"No," we would say, trying desperately to keep control of our composure. "Just regular coffee, regular cream and ice. Nothing else. No syrup, no sweetener, no flavor."

"OK," they'd say, like they thought we were nuts and we would surely be sorry. When we got to the window (or stepped aside to wait for our order, without fail, somebody would come over to ask us again. "So, you don't want sweetener?"

"No," we would say a little more firmly. "Just regular coffee, regular cream and ice. Nothing else. No syrup, no sweetener, no flavor."

After they handed us our drinks, we would start to drive or walk away, confident that our request, given in triplicate, had been honored. Almost without fail, we would taste the coffee and find it was sweet. Given that regular coffee and regular cream do not come sweet, that meant that sweetener was added. Sweetener we specifically said THREE TIMES that we didn't want.

I'm not sure how to change this. I don't think you can be any clearer than, "Just regular coffee, regular cream and ice. Nothing else. No syrup, no sweetener, no flavor." The only conclusion I can come to is that America is getting dumber, and that makes me sad. On the other hand, it makes me feel smarter, so yay me.

Michy sent me this video, which had Greg and me rolling on the floor, laughing, tears streaming from our eyes...because it's just so true. Warning: harsh language! Don't play this in the presence of young children or anyone with sensitive sensibilities!